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- These Tariffs, I Can't Even
These Tariffs, I Can't Even
What is there to write about something this stupid?
mister mix
March 04, 2025
Good morning and hello, $10 Avocados! Trump’s stove-touching fetish seems to be in full swing:
Starting just past midnight, imports from Canada and Mexico were to be taxed at 25%, with Canadian energy products subject to 10% import duties.
The 10% tariff that Trump placed on Chinese imports in February was doubled to 20%, and Beijing retaliated Tuesday with tariffs of up to 15% on a wide array of U.S. farm exports. It also expanded the number of U.S. companies subject to export controls and other restrictions by about two dozen.
Something, something history doomed to repeat it — can’t really remember the line. Farmers, who are very Trumpy, are gonna get screwed by the Chinese tariffs, just like last time, when they caused $26 billion in ag export losses.
Canada has already instituted retaliatory tariffs that will phase in over 21 days. There’s also talk of Canada just turning off the energy they export to the Northeast, but I doubt that will happen because the smart retaliatory tariffs hit Trump regions disproportionately. I mean, shit, it’s like they’re sitting up there in front of some kind of console will all kinds of dials that can cause pain and they just need to figure out which ones to turn. It’s like the Milgram experiment, but for real.
Remember that our refineries are built to refine the dark, thick “sour” crude that Canadians produce, so we export our domestic production and refine Canada’s.
Mexico is planning on announcing their tariffs this weekend in a public event in Mexico City. I believe, my friends, that this event will be lit, because look at this:
Mexicans like ceremony, and my favorite North American leader is good at it. My guess is that it will be Claudia driving up in a Promaster van (made in Saltillo) full of fruit wearing a Pemex hat, but who knows. She’s also betting that by the weekend, there won’t be a need for a ceremony, because Trump will back down. I wouldn’t bet against that proposition, but I hope to hell that he gets ridiculed into the earth if that happens.
The goal in any war, I learned from the geniuses who ran the Iraq War, is shock and awe. This is a trade war with our two closest allies. Between Canadian crude and Mexican and Canadian cars and produce, we will be shocked. As for awe, who knows.
Car dealers, another big Trump constituency, are going to get fucked on this one when car prices go up and nobody wants to buy one. So will Trump’s real constituency, Wall Street. In the words of Atrios, wheeeee!
Line go down. Line bad.
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