Rahmpocalypse

Fuuuuck this guy, also we need to be talking about Epstein not bathrooms

Author

mister mix
July 17, 2025

Sepideh sent me this piece and requested that I beat Rahm like a piñata:

To understand the cynicism of Emanuel's position, you need to see what he's actually calling for. When he says Democrats should stop talking about "bathrooms and locker rooms," he's not criticizing excessive rhetoric because there wasn't any. What he's really saying is that Democrats should stop opposing discriminatory legislation altogether.

Consider his evolving talking points. In December, he complained in a Washington Post op-ed that Democrats "consumed themselves in debates over pronouns, bathroom access and renaming schools." By February, he was telling anyone who'd listen, "I am done with the discussion of locker rooms, I am done with the discussion of bathrooms." On Real Time with Bill Maher in late February, he made a crude joke about how in seventh grade, if he'd "known I could've said the word 'they' and gotten in the girls' bathroom, I would've done it."

This isn't someone concerned about messaging. This is someone who thinks trans kids are a punchline.

By April, Emanuel had refined his bit into a well-rehearsed routine: "We weren't good on kitchen table issues or the family room. The only room we really did well in the house was the bathroom. And that's the smallest room in the house." He's delivered variations of this line on The View, on podcasts, at think tank events; anywhere someone will give him a microphone.

But here's the thing: Democrats didn't campaign on trans rights. They didn't run ads defending trans people. They didn't make speeches about bathroom access. In race after race, when Republicans launched vicious attacks on transgender people, Democrats responded with... nothing.

The thing about piñatas is that when you beat them something good comes out, but Rahm is so full of shit … you complete the thought.

Anyway, let’s start with the obvious: don’t amplify your opponents’ talking points. If Democrats want to talk about trans issues and bathroom panics, my 94 year-old dad has something to say about that, which he did at the last legislative town hall here when some asshole Republican legislators wanted to push that issue. Dad pointed out that the most likely person to sexually assault a child is someone related or known to them. That’s the ugly truth Republicans don’t want to talk about.

Moving on from that, Rahm seems to think that the time to run for President in 2028 is now, which is bad politics and bad judgment, so it’s on-brand for him. Democrats should be focused on 2026 and making a ton of noise about it. Anyone who is “putting out feelers” about 2028 is doing something disqualifying, in my opinion.

Finally, let’s consider real, not imagined, sexual assault, and that brings us to what Rahm and every other Democrat should be talking about: Epstein. Where are the files? How many times did Trump ride on his plane or hang out on his private island? Trump is freaking the fuck out about it, so why not make that the issue?

Rahm is bad Chicago. He’s the Daley machine. Obama is good Chicago. Bad Chicago should stay there. The end.

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